Me vs. Us

Disappointment doesn’t even begin to express my agony. You can walk around and say how much of a grown man you are, but you can’t pick up a damn phone to say how late you’ll be home, do you care? Apparently not, because your words don’t speak as loud as your actions. Your actions are consistent and your words, they’re not equivalent. Your actions say one thing but your words, they’re...the reason im still here. Because I am a believer; And when you give me that little ounce of hope, im going to run with is as far as I possibly can before you can catch up and expect me to let you take it back. Insecurities are something I don’t lack, but it’s only because of the fact that im the only one at the end of the day that will pick up your slack. I don’t want to live in misery, because misery loves company, you see, and I prefer it better when it’s just you and me. Not you, and me, and the whole damn country. You’ve got my mind in distress, it’s like you could give a damn and care less. Look at this, I’m a mess. You’ve got me going insane. Too bad hallmark doesn’t make those beautiful cards for the heartbreaks, the heartaches, and the heart attacks you almost put me through. They don’t make cards for those desolate nights. You know, the ones where I dry my eyes out with my pillowcase because my tears fall faster than the fastest bullet being shot. You shoot me down day to day, and how is it possible that I am still alive, I don’t know. I am a woman. My motives are...none of what I am speaking about. I can’t even sleep knowing that I know you, because either way you’re going to be on my mind. I can dream, on my good nights when you don’t leave me hanging, but my mind begins to wonder and say, “What is he trying to prove?” The nights I feel so abandoned, remind me of why I never wanted to be with you. I am a child of the man above and when you make me feel like I don’t have anyone else but you and you’re not there, I whisper my sweet prayer thinking He’s got something made for you. See, everything is about you isn’t it? In your world. In my world. In the world I fought to believe was our world. Little did I know, that I can revolve my world around yours. Your threshold is my orbit, and anything that comes near you has already been through me, because...you see, you live within me. And that’s why it is so hard to just be, because you make it easy to be, whereas for me, being isn’t about being, because it’s about you being with me.